Many children who have grown up in dysfunctional families will suffer with what is known as insecure attachment disorder. The experts at Psych Blossom say that this can develop when a child’s needs are not met or perceived to have not been met. In later life, insecure attachment issues can have a negative impact on that child’s ability to form healthy relationships. But what are the signs of an insecure attachment disorder, and how can you cope with it?
What Causes Insecure Attachment?
While it is easy to assume that insecure attachment is always the result of neglect, it is not always so. Sometimes it can develop when a child has a very young or inexperienced mother who lacks the necessary skills to parent the child correctly. It could also be caused if a child experiences too many different carers when young, such as constant changes in nannies or the staff at a daycare center.
However, in most cases, insecure attachment is caused by the neglect of the child. It might be that the parent or caregiver withdrew from the caring role because of a mental health problem or some issue with alcohol or drugs. Unfortunately, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse does also occur in some homes, and those children that are exposed to this neglect are usually severely impacted.
Signs You Might Have an Insecure Attachment Disorder?
Those with an insecure attachment disorder will usually feel anxious and vulnerable, particularly in terms of their relationships with others. They may find it difficult to develop healthy relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They will commonly:
- avoid developing a close relationship with another person
- feel worry or anxiety that they will be rejected by the people they love
- have a negative image of themselves or suffer with low self esteem
- feel uncomfortable with intimacy
- distrust other people
- suppress their emotions
- be dismissive of negative experiences or events.
How to Deal with an Insecure Attachment Disorder
It is not easy to change how you feel, especially if those feelings developed when you were a child. Nevertheless, with the right help and strategies, you can begin to overcome an insecure attachment disorder.
Perhaps the best way to deal with insecure attachment is with psychotherapy. During such sessions, a therapist will work with you to identify the root cause of your problems. This can be difficult, but it is the best way to overcome the issues that are causing you to feel this way.
When you know why your insecure attachment developed, you can take steps to move forward. A therapist will work with you and will teach you ways of coping. You can learn to become more mindful of your thoughts and feelings and learn how to communicate effectively with those around you.
How to Help a Partner with Insecure Attachment
Loving someone with an insecure attachment disorder can also be difficult. If you are in an intimate relationship with a person who constantly fears that you are going to leave them or who struggles to get close to you, this can put a strain on the relationship. However, you can help by staying consistent in terms of the attention that you give and by regularly assuring them that you do love them and care about them. Make a point of not breaking promises and encourage them to seek help to overcome their stress and anxiety.
In conclusion, insecure attachment disorder commonly affects adults who did not have their needs met as a child. This can affect their ability to form close relationships, but with therapy an insecure attachment disorder can be managed and overcome.